November 3, 2004
-
A lot of people on Xanga does not seem to get me, come on, you are clever people so you can at least try.
I have Aspergers that mean I am an outsider to the human race, and as I have seen first hand what the human race can do to each other, I am glad. if I could fully empathise after seeing a new born baby with a knife through her vagina, after seeing a raped woman hanging from a tree, after seeing a two-year old shot dead in front of me, after seeing a couple dying in no-man’s land still holding hands…if i could be empathic I would have a nervous breakdown.
I do not do rude, I do not do hate, I do not do nice, I do not do false lies, baseless compliments, no I do the truth. I can not hide my feelings. If I love your poem I say so, if I think your poem is crap I say so or do not comment knowing I will say I do not like your poem.
That is me, if you do not believe me look up “Asperger’s”.
It is a general belief that because I write under various fictions I can lie and am lying now, that is not true, I can do fiction only in the confines of fiction and all my personae are from the outside looking in, knowledge. I knew a Rev Toby, I knew a Sophie Morgan, not as those names of course. Even The Sarahs’ are based on someone, myself.
They are only fiction with what I give them from my mind of memory. That is me.
I do not lie, I am not rude I do not hate, I only say what I think.
Sorry, but there is nothing I can do about my condition other than to kill myself. Terry.
Comments (35)
It looks like Bush is winning a second term. It’s a shame as it will make Americans legitimate targets through-out the world.
Of course we know that most American travellers abroad are not right-wing bigots or else they would not travel abroad, but not everyone have my intelligence, and you don’t need intelligence to kill people.
But you would have brought it on yourself, keep a man of hate in power, keep believing in such utter crap as the creation and that Jesus died to save our sins, and you get and you will deserve hate.
It’s not my fault, but it’s the truth.
It seems to me the world would be a much better place if everybody had your condition. This post sounds like an apology, but I know better than that. Pure honesty ’til it hurts. Thing is, most people these days are immune to insensitivity, except when it concerns their own pet causes. Then they jump at the chance to be indignant as if they might change the world. In the end, they will have changed only what was changing already anyway. You said, “I do not do false lies” so I suppose that means all your lies are true. Funny, mine are too.
Tsk. I should have checked what I wrote before posting. There are no such thing as false lies!
I may not understand all you write at times, but Aspergers or not, you are brilliant! Isn’t it true that there are a lot of writer,artists, composers, scientists, etc. that have been considered a bit “odd” –maybe even “mad”? And they are considered geniuses in their field. So you are in good company!!(not that you are “mad”, of course)!!!
And … since when do you need to apologize for being you!
I say fuck them ALL! That’s what I’m doing … it keeps their mouths shut!
if from only what I’ve heard you say about it…I think I may have Asperger’s as well.
Never apologize for being you. Most people don’t get that.
Jeni
Oh, I am mad.
i see what you say and i’ve always figured you a man of truth, maybe a bit odd but none the less pure simple truth. tis why i enjoy your post, they are so human yet unhuman. like you said your mad, but maddness comes in many shades.
Personally, I appreciate blunt truth. Keep it up!
It is okay…. I think we are all a littlebit mad.
Be well and happy LP
Oh and please do not kill youself.
People love you.
Dear Terry,
I know I don’t comment as often as a lot of your readers, but sometimes I read and do not comment. I thought I would comment on this post, however, and also mention the poems you posted on LordPineapple from when you suffered your stroke.
At first I didn’t “understand” the many “characters” until I read more of the poetry, which you have collected on many of your websites. The poetry speaks in different voices from different places, and I have concluded that you are simply a genius for adapting these various viewpoints and observations into the works of other “people”, (and not forgetting your three Sarahs, either).
Irregardless of your diseases, or state of mind, I feel bad that you feel, at this late date in your internet existence, that you feel you have to “explain yourself”. As you say in the beginning of this post, “you people are clever”. Perhaps you have received comments or emails from people who aren’t so “clever” and don’t “get you”. It took me a while perusing your many personalities before I “got it” and I have a pretty high IQ, and can usually “read people” pretty well.
The poems you wrote when you thought they were the last poems you might write were very poignant and up front.
Don’t ever “kill yourself” although I know this is written as metaphor. Just unsubscribing to Xanga or Homestead and deleting the websites would effectively do that, and as you probably know, the websites develop a life of their own after a while. You have a large legacy here. Don’t give up. Don’t surrender to lesser minds, whomever the might be.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet,philosopher,fool
When you say you speak only the truth, Terry, you are really saying you speak what you feel and believe. But that is not always the same as the truth. No one, even you, knows all the truth in every matter, and we rarely confine ourselves to subjects in which we do know all the facts involved. I’m quite sure you recognize that as well as I. One area in which we all need to be careful is when we ascribe motives to another person’s actions. Since we cannot see into another’s heart and mind, we cannot know the whole truth about them.
I have read about Asperger’s and find it very interesting. I was wondering if the doctors diagnosed you with something else at first since Asperger’s is a relatively new diagnosis.
Just for the record, I think you know that although I often disagree with your opinions in some matters, I think you are tremendously talented. I also think that you show more restraint than you admit in this post. Thankfully, you don’t say everything you think. It’s a good thing that none of us say EVERYTHING we think.
I don’t care what afflicts you or saves you, I just care that you are around. I think you are awsome.~Angie
I can’t claim to understand you, I can’t claim to understand most people, but I do respect people who say what they feel.
Oh, by the way, I did have to look it up. Problems with nonverbal communication was listed. You have no shortcomings in that area.
Pete
I was diagnosed as an mere austic which I considered I was until a few years ago when I personally befriended an expert on Asperger’s Syndrome.
And like all deseases of either the body or the brain, no one gets “everything” it’s not something that is fixed, people with MS usually get eye-trouble but not every sufferer of MS has this eye trouble.
lord p
you forgot one thing
you are also a teacher
you always make me feel
t
rave on in the words of another writer death is to deny yur passion in my words magi
Well said.
condition? phhht.
unless of course we all have a condition. that could easily be true.
the explaination was really not needed. that could be part of the condition though….
{{{{{{{{{{{Terry}}}}}}}}}}} You’re the best.
-Margot
I always enjoy your work and your comments. (((((hugs!))))
or create and live, right?
Even with Asperger’s, I find it hard to understand the human race. The only difference is that these injustices, these horrific implausible realities reach into the depths of my soul and I feel them. I feel them as if they are my own and the only way I can escape them is to disallow them access to my thoughts, my eyes and my being. Truth, though, stands true for me as well. If there were a name for sensing or perceiving too much, a name that describes the opposite of Asperger’s, surely I would be labeled with it. Because of all this, you have my belief in you. What you share as your reality as well as what you share as your fiction, is all truth to me. Infinite Blessings
The first time you commented on my site I inwardly said “thank you”! I have few close friends for I only feel in touch with those who are honest with me and expect the same from me. I distrust the “touchy, feely” person who wants to make me feel better. I do trust you and I don’t trust very many people. If it takes Asperger’s to produce the person you are, I wish more people had it!
Write on, dear friend.
My son has Asperger’s, I have it to a degree also. Always wondering why I was getting yelled at and why no one wanted me as thier friend.
At my age I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t fucking matter. I am not about to kill myself (which I had thought about) for a group of people that I view now as lower on the chain than I.
I think you are a worthwhile and interesting person!
i may have pineapple for lunch today i am feeding it to my little family now it s difficult to get them on a VIT C junket but oh well we are not made the same as some yum yum i wish he was interested in poetry but NOT yet my Gods son i mean he is made really different he may even have feathers & three heads hahaha bless u today,magi i thought i had AS purg ers once it made me relly sick & puking but i hope i am over it luv to u magi
huggs and tears…I like you for you…not what you have or don’t have…not for what I get or don’t get…I wish for you the best…for you truth is a way of life…for many…they are afraid to tell even themselves the truth…Sassy
You have Aspergers and are a genius. I have nothing of any real talent and have no Aspergers. I can’t say which if us is less or more fortunate. Your difficulties lie in the shortcomings of those around you who are desensitized to being decent understanding individuals. I think you have a lot of good friends here in Xanga who might give their eyeteeth to meet you if only for a short while. I know I would.
Kill yourself? God forbid! Just joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck…
I’d much rather have blunt honesty than a pack of lies…or even silence at times. And I’m much the same way…if I think it, chances are it will be said.
Shine on you crazy Diamond…
come on you target for far away laughter
come you raver
you see-er
you martyr
you piper
you prisoner
and shine…..
Shine on you crazy Diamond
You’ve been fucking madd for years…