The Clowne in London.
This was the sort of thing had planned to write, for I went all the way to London to meet Halie, (Becca’s daughter) and some Spanish guides. I turned up. I TURNED UP.
I had planned a lovely blog similiar to…
London is the capital city of the USA state called “Britland”, it is the home of Mr. Bean, Tony Blair, and the Three-Headed Sarahs’, but only one lives in the state-capital Bushland (formally London).
“If you tire of London, then you are tired of life.” says the famous saying. London has more suicides per-person than all the rest of The South-England County of Britland State.
It is the home of Sherlock Holmes, El Cid and Margaret Thatcher, only one of which is still living (just). It is my journey for the day, meating (sorry, hungry!) Becca’s daughter and her family and a lot of young Spanish Girl Guides. (“Mama, this loco hombre met us, I was so miedoso, he parecerse (sure that’s right Sarahs’?) SO viejo, and SO el gordo!”)
From Oxford, it takes the train one hour to arrive and plonks one in the middle of nowhere. Coach is better, takes it one and a half hours outside rush-hour times. I am to meet the poor unsuspecting saps (I mean, I have been driven insane by a three-headed pet!) at The Hard Rock Cafe in Old Don Quixote La Mancha Park Lane. Couldn’t find it on the map, so I phoned up the Late Bob Hope, and he told me it used to be called “Old Park Lane.”
I have to carry a board with my name on it! “Lord Pineapple”.
I get my sign out and I am mugged. “Sorry your Lordship, culo toffs!” I try again and am arrested because I boiled the egg I found, the egg the Sarahs’ popped out of and made me have an attack and die. “No Mordo Senior!” They brought me back. Anyway, I was under arrest for helping illegal aliens. The Sarahs’ bodyguard “Zac” sorted them out. I waited again, and found myself mobbed by angry cat-lovers.
I am getting there! In time as well as in place!
———————
But of course my lack of confidence was justified. It hurt me to go there, hurt me without my walking stick, hurt me to quench my fears of rejection that I have felt since my son turned on me. I hate rejection, why do you think I don’t send my stuff off to be published now. My stroke had taken more than my mind and mobility, it destroyed my hope. No wonder I am not telling anyone in Oxford that I am going to Texas, my confidence is that low.
Hurry up death, life is shit.
—
I did get to see the London St. Patrick’s Day Parade, very impressive, children on stilts for example (I’d been shit scared of them falling were they mine!). Women dressed up and riding swans. I stood outside the Hard Rock Cafe and waved an Irish flag I brought. I went into the cafe had a beer and snapped my credit-card. good job I had taken money out of my bank first.
Pissed off, I walked to China-Town and had a curry meal, wasted the tiny bit of money I had because I was so, well…
When I am in a better mood, I’ll write more about London, it’s strange little alley-ways and it’s pokey little shops (for example.)
Meanwhile, I’ll leave this open for comments but will return to my LordPineapple blog to answer there. Interesting enough Tiffy has a poem there called “Blind-Date.”
Next time anyone from America wants to see me in England, they’ll have to come to Oxford.
Terry. The Clowne from Clown.
Comments (21)
I want to go to Oxford!
M.A.
london would be entirely too much for me … grand rapids is about as big a city as i’d care to go to …
Hope is something supernatural. It’s a good thing, just don’t put your hope in people. People are generally hopeless. We want what we want when we want it. A simple distraction and we want something else. I’m sure you’ll get all kinds of apologies for being stood up and they will be sincere, but then so was the intended meeting. Sincerity is a salesman’s tool.
Were they not able to meet you? How awful for you!
I always wanted to see London, as so many novels I have read are set there. I suspect that, like so many places, it is more fun to visit than to live there, at least unless you are wealthy.
Are you going to Texas, really? I was there, twice, once in San Antonio, and once in Houston. I didn’t do a lot of sightseeing, just being there to visit my brother for a short time, but I loved seeing the different vegetation. I love palm trees! And the food in Houston was so good; everything tasted fresher there.
I feel betrayed. Trust is not easy for me at present as it is. I am not too embarrassed to say I just went to bed and cried. So much for being a man.
I’ll meet you in Oxford, but it’ll take a few years.
You are indeed a clown with words which I read and understood and sympathised. Sorry you never got to meet Becca’s daughter, still a day in London. How I envy you although i would have to go round in a wheelchair and I expect be disappointed at all the changes. Take heart ,are you really going to Texas Love Marj
That is awful that they didn’t show up and didn’t even bother to attempt to tell you why or that they were unable to make it… I would be frustratedly angry as well.
I’m sorry the day didn’t go as planned. Sending you supportive {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}. ryc:I’ll email you about the books.
I am sure something went array and that it was not a personal thing. London as I remember it was a confusion of noise and way too many people….somewhat like where I work. They were probably way off schedule and had no idea what they were about. I would love to meet you anywhere and so would Sir Knight! I know things hurt so much more when one is in the down swing. Sending a mental hug your way
Nancy
Aww, it’s certainly not any fault of your own! What happened? Big cities can be frightful, in getting around–too easily lost. Rest well, and know that here, we would never stand you up. There is hope!
Hugs
You need a cell phone! No doubt there was just cause. Death will be no picnic, without the Lord, twill make life here seem like an island paradise. Consider. The Love that awaits is Truth and more genuine and real than anything to experience here. Read the Book of John, dear dear L P. and still I pray. A soul is precious. It is not true you do not feel, you feel deeply, you notice EVERYTHING not a mite is ignored. Insanity? no, brillance to create ways to escape reality, to adjust life so it “fits”, you are searching for Him and you don’t even realize it. and still i pray.
And I was in London 2001 just after the Twin Towers fell. We stayed across the river from Big Ben, I have the painting hanging in my living room that we bought on the bridge from a middle aged man – - it is really very good. One of my favorite memories is the Beefeater who led our tour. He was hilarious, made history just come alive and that with humor. Lovely lovely place, would like to return some day.
I am sorry you were stood up.
You didn’t meet???? How sad. I know how hard it is to get places, but easier when there is public transportation around. I have been to Oxford, and whenever I go back, I would love to meet you in that park you wrote about. Sorry about your long for nothing trip….
hey i m sorry too, that sounds like an aweful day out … still i hope you get on better in texas if you are really going over…
as for sending your stuff out i think you should make the effort as i should after all the worst than can happen is a stream of no’s and at least some one is writing to you 
at least thats the way i rationalise it 
Too Too Funny ! I can’t tell where imagination leaves off and reality takes over. I say again, never quite met the likes of L. P. Wonderful creature this.
I am to meet the poor unsuspecting saps (I mean, I have been driven insane by a three-headed pet!) at The Hard Rock Cafe in Old Don Quixote La Mancha Park Lane. Couldn’t find it on the map, so I phoned up the Late Bob Hope, and he told me it used to be called “Old Park Lane.”
I have to carry a board with my name on it! “Lord Pineapple”.
I get my sign out and I am mugged. “Sorry your Lordship, culo toffs!” I try again and am arrested because I boiled the egg I found, the egg the Sarahs’ popped out of and made me have an attack and die. “No Mordo Senior!” They brought me back. Anyway, I was under arrest for helping illegal aliens. The Sarahs’ bodyguard “Zac” sorted them out. I waited again, and found myself mobbed by angry cat-lovers.
I am getting there! In time as well as in place!
yipeee yikiooooo got them boots ready ? bring linament if u would talk to an angel every now & again ur dreamz may come true just a thought magi
If you come to Texas, you must let me know. I think I could make it that far! However, Symbolreader would probably let me tag along with her. You see, I love London. I just don’t believe what they tell (write) me and I have been ripped off a few times when I didn’t do my homework first. I like going on my own with map in hand. The only time that failed is when I couldn’t figure how to get to Hyde Park thru the Ring. I finally followed a couple thru the underground. One way or another, I will come to Oxford one day and commute from the Hart Hotel to wherever you are.
I had fun in London (but of course, it was a long time since I’ve been there. Ditto Oxford. Ditto England.) When the wee ones are older, I hope to come back. If I do manage it, maybe I can drop by unannounced! HA!
Thanks for the nice words.
I hope you are able to make the trip to Texas to see the ones you want to visit! And I’m sorry you were stood up…that is rude for sure.