Pain-Killers
These tablets in my hand
Gets rid of most of my pain,
But they also destroy my creativity.
I can’t write a poem
When I am so relaxed,
No such thoughts linger inside my head.
For after all,
Most of my poems are about pain
In one way or another.
It is as if all my own pain
Touches all those people out there
Who feel pain;
The lost, the bereaved, the abused, the beaten, the dying…
All of those share my pain with me,
And without the pain inside me
Such people seem to no longer exist.
The little boy sexually used at school,
The young man who found it so hard to say “I love you”,
The cripple he has become with age:
All seem to be another me.
A me who is not happy,
A me who is not relaxed,
A me who feels pain.
I take these tablets to keep me alive,
But in a way they are killing me;
For without poetry
I am only a carbon shell
Of empty pain.
—
Lord Pineapple.
Comments (21)
This is sad. =(
is empty pain is like a phantom limb–something that shouldn’t have sensory stimulus anymore but somehow the nerve endings don’t know that there isn’t a limb there anymore.
I hear your voice speaking in this autobiographical poem…and think that it’s not only in pain that you speak and touch people. There are other ways which you have shown us: Posting pictures of you and your grandchild from Canada, you wearing that jesters hat, you exploring the essence of the edge of storytelling with the three headed sarahs. These don’t seem like painful events to me but they too have touched me so that I have wanted to be your friend.
this too shall pass.
I feel your pain.
I hear your voice.
The words are touching.
Terry, I don’t know what to say to ease your pain.
I’m sorry.
:(
this one really speaks to me. i have my own issues with pain or the lack thereof. well done. ~jacki
hmmm. if i was there i’d give you a hug-please wrap arms round self…feel all the good love sent your way…i find i just dont know what to say…sending the love, circulatin the healing…BOOM…catch my drift?
you hit hard terry:(
You are more than a carbon shell without poetry. Much more. And if you are writing the poetry we read even though you take the pills, I would say that the tablets are not robbing you of a considerable amount of creativity. You have a hard row to hoe in life, but as you recognize in this poem, your life touches others in an important way.
I understand what you mean when you say the tablets not only divorce you from your physical pain. They can make you lose touch with the emotions, as well. For someone as creative and talented as you… the choice must be so difficult. Or you endure the physical pain for as long as you can, just so you can stay in-touch with the creativity.
For the makers of these tablets, I doubt they even considered that a side-effect. Creativity… the speech of the soul… is not a factor they would have considered. I wish there was some way to ease your suffering. {{{{sends loving vibes}}}}
Though I wish I had the courage to do the opposite, how about some happy pill popping poetry? Maybe it’s time to release the sunshine, lollipops and Pollyanna inside.–Do it for the troops.
Okay, okay, okay I wrote a short poem. I’ve been lazy lately hoping my amateur photography would suffice.
Magnificent poem…
I don’t know what else to add to that, other than
peace.
My Friend~~~
Pain the curse of life, If you cannot think with pain on the tablets you are on ,perhaps you should try others ,I need a Morphine type pain killer but I won’t take them ,as with pain I can write, with a strong painkiller like that, I would be brain dead. I take Capadex not very good but better than nothing Cheers Marj
Could a few pints and some whiskey or scotch in substitution for some of the pills sometimes work? It’ll be more fun, and less cumbersome.
I love the poem.
DRINK!! DRINK!! DRINK!! DRINK!!
DEAR lORD…I CAN WRITE NO MORE POEMS ON MY BLACK ELECTRONIC BOX…IT IS BROKEN AND WOBBLY…I HAVE PLENTY TO WRITE ABOUT….I HAVE EVIDENCE OF A GREAT THING…ALL TOGETHER…IN ONE PLACE…PLEASE COME AND SEE…WILL HAVE TO MOVE TOMORROW…BLESSINGS,BECKON CALL
I do believe I have something that will boost your spirits a bit and will be writing you about it later. Lots of love and of course Infinite Blessings
I know that feeling so well. I took a xanax the other day so I wouldn’t have screaming rage at everyone within a foot of me and I felt like a shell. Next time I’ll try chocolate.
BLUE TABLETS…LEG CRAMPS>>>I CAN STILL MUSE AND WRITE
my son feels the same way about the pain pills and anti this and that medications… it’s a big tradeoff to have to trade creativity for life .. I’m glad you both are choosing life with a little less pain ?
Beautiful. I took Anit depressants for a while and i seemed to lose a bit of my desire to write. I am off of them now and the writing is coming back. My thoughts are with you.
Pain Entry: Actually, I’m glad to be late on this entry as most will have read and then moved on. I understand pain as I live with it always. I have not had your experience with it as you haven’t had mine but we both have more understanding of what pain is than many people who are our readers. That is not to say there are no others like us as I know there are many and more will follow them.
I have to look at my creative parts as what help me to keep going the same as you look at yours. I know how important it is to keep on trucking and writing and doing as to not do anything at all I would die of boredom and of pain garnered from the sheer boredom. I also avoid medications. I know there may come a time I have to take more of them, that is if I want to believe what a doctor tells me and so, do what he tells me I have to do, to survive to whatever fate it is he thinks I have in store for me. I am not ready to say I will follow orders. At this point in my life, I am the master and will retain that status as long as I am able.
For your eyes and ears only, knowing full well someone may read this but it’s meant in all good faith and friendship, I understand and I love you for who and what you are. I know in my heart you are one fine man and like many fine men before you and who will follow you, it seems life should have dished out some better. As life does not pick and choose but seems the luck of the draw, we get what nature has in store for us so, do the best you can do, write away, say what you need to say and who knows what bits of wisdom will flow from LordPineapple or from the Sarah’s. Be it as it may, keep on writing and even if I am late reading, I’ll try to get here as you, your friendship and your writing mean a lot to me.
My very best regards to you,