One always hears funny stories from people when one is a reporter, some of them are made up, but sometimes you know that someone who always tells the truth. I heard this from a phone call, then our cleaning lady, (who couldn’t have told a lie to save her family) confirmed it. Both were passengers on a Chesterfield-Clay Cross bus, when this little boy kept putting his thumb in his mouth, his irate mother constantly told the boy, “remove that thumb!” only to it being back in his mouth in seconds. In the end the Mother smacked the boy’s hand, and in a loud clear voice the boy said “When I looked in your bedroom ‘other night, you had daddy’s willie in YOUR mouth!”
I can just imagine the other passengers trying not to laugh, my cleaner said the driver nearly crashed the bus.
___________
My editor was a progressive person and like I, wanted all races treat equal, but not so many of the more vocal readers. “Who cares about a lot of Africans? I want to read about my village fair!”
We did a lot of international stories, which is why I got to Bosnia, but were they respected? Not really. Pictures of wounded children aside, I felt that no one cared about the Balkins, why? They weren’t English lives.
In the end the paper folded, people wanted to read about how their little Harry won the sack race, not about “some “*****” in some god-forsaken rat-hole”. Morons.
_________________
(Also on racism)
A left-wing female councillor was getting romantically attached to a right-wing racist business-man; (I called them “the strangest pairing since the owl and the pussycat”). Anyway, the business-man sued me for calling him a racist, and he took me to court.
There I was, surrounded by a law team from the National Union Of Journalists, when the judge walked in, got on his high seat, looked at the business-man and said: “I remember you, I was at an hotel with my wife, you were there, and I heard you call a black waiter a “filthy little n*****”.
My solictor whispered to me “you’ve won already!”
________________
Yes, as a newspaper reporter for a one-horse town paper I had a job to find news, but old people always had stories, and often old photographs too. I gave them their moment of glory (and they were paid too) and I filled up my paper with the most beautiful pieces. “When I started down pit, I got sixpence-halfpenny a day, and there were no bonuses just twelve ruddy hours a day six days o’ week…”
Some of the folk died not long after telling me their stories, I liked to think they died feeling a little more worthy than they had.
__________________
I placed a piece in my paper about a small village police station being manned by a new constable straight from training college.
Two days later the “rookie” (not called them in those days), was at his desk when this man came in and said he had come about the typewriter and gave a letter-head from a well-known local firm.
The constable let the man take away the typewriter before ringing up the firm to check. The firm hadn’t a clue what the constable was talking about.
Neither man nor typewriter was seen again. In the aftermath I got a nasty “warning” from Derbyshire Constabulary, to say that I had six faults on my car and had a week to put them right.
(One for “Charlie The Copper” there!)
____________________
Proofing. As my editor used to say “Ok, so the word is foreign, but if you are too lazy to check the spelling and the proof-reader is too lazy, you can bet your bottom dollar (sic) that one thousand bloody readers are not too lazy!
——-
picture: Well-dressing, from a village near Chesterfield. (my work-town).
Comments (16)
It is interesting how people are so obsessed with their own little world, that they fail to see what lies beyond the boundaries of thier own towns.
I’m thinking that is why people are so messed up today …
Hope you are doing well …
Our own local paper drives me over the edge EVERY day. Apparently no one can even proof the headlines, and it is startling to see things that are not only obviously worngly spelled, they are in big, bold type. One day they answered a letter to Editor that they could not afford anyone to proofread.
What an interesting life to be a reporter. Getting to see all sides of the world and humanity at it’s best and worst
These are very interesting stories.
This would be a wonderful job to write and report “as it happened”.
I enjoyed reading this!!
I think most of us are comfortable in our own little local “wombs”. I am as guilty as the next. I try to avoid depressing things as much as possible–especially since I am on meds for depression anyway. I like feeling relatively happy again. I am certainly not heartless, though–far from it.
You have lived an interesting life as a reporter, teacher, poet! You should be glad you are not a foreign reporter nowadays. Just read about how many journalists have been killed lately. Scary!!
More! More! More!
Once a month or so, I go to the local retirement home, and have a conversation with one of the octigenerians about their life.
I started this out as a community service, I would offer my skills to help people have better life.
Now it is purely selfish. I learn so much and it is great entertainment. I think that any newspaper or magazine would benefit from doing a monthly column on something like this.
I think even though a reporter is or was not paid well it would have been an interesting job to have. I know you had to have done it well and I’ll bet you enjoyed it. There is some value in enjoying your job.
Regards,
I have been lurking…Guilty!…and enjoying your memories. You have such an interesting spin on things that I cannot but take delight!
Peace and Love…GFW
Interesting as well as amusing stories. I really enjoyed reading this post. It shines a bit more light on your interesting past.
Peace.
Very entertaining you should write a book. I reckon it would be a best sellerm as it could contain all your personalities mand you could call it that “My Multiple Personalities” I’d buy a copy Cheers marj
Great stories and so true what you said regarding racism.
I actually stumbled across this site because Lord Pineapple was on the featured content and I was like “what an interesting name!” After reading some of your poetry and news pieces you have written, I feel like I haven’t done anything with my life. I was never too big a fan of the papers because they usually got the fact wrong. Like recently there was a stabbing at my school. There was this massive coverup because my school didn’t want the bad publicity. The reporters would harrass us with questions, but we lied to them so they would stop bugging us. But after seeing it from your perspective, reporters are in a tough bind. They have to tell the news but if the higher ups don’t like it, they get dropped. And the reporters look for stories so that way people will buy more papers. Anyway, I’m glad I stumbled across your blog. Good luck with the typing. Have you considered one of those “talk and type” things? After you get past the training stage, it’s faster than typing one finger at a time. Just a thought!
Oh and the first story about the thumbsucker was hilarious!
The thumbsucker: bloody hilarious; a painfully good laugh!!!
Equality among all the Races of Man: damn skippy! I am a long believer in Chivalry, and the Code of Ethics knows no politics or holds back for any nationality.
Racism: Light of the World! When are we going to get past our differences? Humanity needs to have done with this! We must unite under equality and peace.
I hope you are fairing well. You bring me & many Happiness. The Positive Hereafter is yours.
One of the earliest terms we discussed in journalism class was “afghanistanism.” People as a rule do not care about what is going on half way around the world. They want to know what is going on in their own back yard. Soccer in Afghanistan is not as important to the locals, but if you are writing about the neighbor kid down the street who can outperform Pele, the locals want to hear about it.
I’m sure you had compelling stories to tell about Bosnia. Weekly newsies don’t care. But in a national newspaper or news magazine, the audience would be there, ready to read all about it.
Yeah, it’s frustrating…
Jim
… you speak such truth … truly … i admire you for that …
~ the angel